Convo Maniacs

Convo #0064: Website

2008-02-24T08:17:52Z

Aniel: ei dani!
Aniel: go to this website
Aniel: penisland.net
Aniel: :D
Dani: eww
Dani: yoko nga
((Dani looks at the website, anyway...))
Dani: jeez
Aniel: now you can proudly proclaim that you surf at penisland.net
Dani: haha gago

Convo #0063: Emotional Vampire

2008-02-24T08:10:14Z

Aniel: ah! may time kaso na nagkaroon ako ng girlfriend without my knowledge!
Sethgirl: a gf without your knowledge?
Aniel: yef
Aniel: there was this girl na "emotional vampire"
Aniel: sya yung parang lahat na sa mundo mali, gusto daw mag suicide, etc
Aniel: e si ako naman kasi, kinausap ko sya
Aniel: yun, tapos kinakausap ko sya hanggang maka-recover
Aniel: yun yung plan ko at least
Aniel: pero after 3 days (that's THREE DAYS) pa lang na usap-usap sa phone
Aniel: ang tawag na nya sa akin, "Honey!"
Aniel: tapos andami na nyang "I love you" sa akin
Aniel: so i thought, "okay, sige, palampasin natin"
Aniel: naging weird lalo nung yung mga friends nya na kilala ko din nagtext ng mga "congrats" and "take care of her" and stuff
Aniel: dun nag click sa mind ko
Aniel: "Shet, i am SUCH a stud!"
Sethgirl: lol

Convo #0062: Bathroom Break

2008-02-24T08:05:01Z

Aniel: aha! kukwentuhan na lang kita!
Aniel: kanina sa school, nung nag bathroom break ako
Aniel: bathroom break ako between project management class
Aniel: tapos may jumijingle dun
Aniel: i took my place beside him, dun sa kabilang urinal
Aniel: tapos nakatitig sa akin
Aniel: tinitigan ko din
Aniel: i was like o.o???
Aniel: ((kilala ko ba to?))
Aniel: yun pala bakla
Aniel: binigyan ako ng tissue
Aniel: nakasulat isang phone number
Aniel: saka ko lang na-realize kung ano yun
Sethgirl: oooh
Aniel: ayaw ko na isipin kung ano tinitigtigan nya
Sethgirl: he was hitting on you?
Aniel: apparently. and no, i don't have the tissue anymore. tinapon ko na
Sethgirl: lol
Aniel: iba yung mga bading sa makati e. walang hipo, silent lang, number sa tissue, yung ganung style
Aniel: yung bading dati sa Ever hinihipuan pa ako e. bwiset yun
Aniel: buti may ID ako sa ilalim ng t-shirt, kundi napindot nya yung utong ko
Sethgirl: omg
Dani: LOL

Convo #0061: Maui

2007-10-15T15:34:25Z

Dirty old man (DOM), about 70-80 years old, shopping...
DOM: Miss, Maui ba 'to?
Saleslady: Opo, sir.
DOM: Eh ikaw, pwede bang "maui"?

Convo #0060: Advice

2007-10-11T17:34:14Z

Supremo: Payong kapatid lang, Dani: Don't swallow... spit.
JJ: Payong kaibigan lang, Dani: If you wanna get laid, don't spit... swallow.

Convo #0059: Aussie kiss

2007-09-10T13:59:46Z

Supremo: Why is an Australian kiss better than a French kiss?
MH: Why?
Supremo: Because it's "down under"!

Convo #0058: So good

2007-08-06T14:46:46Z

Sethgirl: it hurts but it feels so good inside *_*
Sethgirl: let me rephrase that... it hurts but i feel better after...?

(Apparently, she was talking about spending despite being broke.)

Convo #0057: Taken Out of Context

2007-08-02T16:15:53Z

PART I:

Joe: Eject! Eject! Eject my thing!
Dani: WHAT?!

PART II:

Joe: Look, Dani, it's still kinda warm...

(Joe was referring to his portable hard drive.)

PART III:

Dani: *thinking* Hehe, "portable hard drive".

Convo #0056: Death + Wish

2007-07-31T12:08:39Z

Dani:
someday i'm going to leave the country and i won't tell anyone
babalik na lang akong rosy cheeks. hahahahahah

ang saya!

hay. i'm bored and hungry.

let the world spin madly on.

Joe:
someday i'm gonna leave and never come back.

beat that.

lol.

>:-)

Dani:
papakamatay ka?

Joe:
ang morbid naman nito

Dani:
hahaha kasi i wouldn't peg you for the type that would "never come back"

mangyayari lang yun if namatay ka.

Joe:
kahit naman magpakamatay ako, i could still come back eh >:-)

the only time i'll never come back is if i have nothing to come back to

Dani:
you'll always have something to come back to. andami naming cute dito sa pinas eh. bwahaha >:)

baliw! pag naunahan mo ko, shet ka. wag ka magpapakita!

Joe:
hahaha, sige i'll take note of that.

pag naunahan kita, makikita mo nalang ako one of those nights habang nagsh-shower ka, tapos sasabihin ko, "O ayan, dani, nagkatotoo na na magkasabay tayo" >:-) hahahaha!!!

Dani:
HAHAHAHAHAHA! bwiset ka. muntik ko na ma-spill yung iniinom ko!

Joe:
hahaha. i can imagine the goosebumps on you if ever that happens.

lol.

tenkyu, tenkyu, i'll be here all week

I SWEAR, you will remember this convo if ever i go ahead of you. >>:-)

Dani:
grabe uunahan na ata kita. LOL!!

tapos ako yung susulpot sa banyo mo. >:)

oh that would be AWESOME. i'd be seeing a shrieking joe.

bwahahahah!

Joe:
OH-EM-GEE.

gaddemit, wag naman ganun! uurong ang manoy ko pa ginawa mo yun! katawa-tawa naman para sa yo at kahiya-hiya naman para sa akin pag nakita mo yun na umurong!

pag minulto mo ako nang ganun, mag-multo na din lang in your birthday costume para walang manoy na umuurong. hahaha! *wink wink, nudge nudge*

*sings the theme from Ghost*

LOL, naguunahan tayo mamatay, how absurd is that!!!?!?? hehehe!

Dani:
hahaha tanginang convo to. i-post mo to!!! LOL!

baka mas matakot ka if naka-bday suit lang ako. hahah! twice the scare, twice the shrinkage! >:)

Joe:
hahaha andya naunahan ako! =p ini-isip ko na kanina na magrereply ako sa yo ng "Pag di mo to pinost sa CM, ipapamulto kita sa mga lolo't lola kooo!!!"

kung by that time eh mga kasing-laki ka na ng butanding oo nga, twice the shrikage yun, shet! magiging 6 inches nalang siya, gaddemit!

di ka pa naman masyadong bilugin eh. hehe... well, at least the last time i saw you =p kinaya pa kitang akapin na napagsalubong ko yung dalawang kamay ko >>:-)

Dani:
hoy di pa naman ako kasing-laki ng balyena no! dolphin pa lang. HAHAHAHHAA!

hahahahah kapal ng mukha. 6 inches daw. so ano ka, 12?! BWAHAHAHA. o/' when you wish, upon a staaaaar o/'

Joe:
tae, kadiri yung 12 no! sige na nga, i'm coming clean... 7.542" lang ako...

>>:-) may lahi akong afro-american eh. hahaha. o/' your dreeeeeams cooooome truuuuue o/'

Convo #0055: Subo

2007-07-28T08:22:47Z

Dani: i can be so baboy
Joe: hehe
Joe: hinay hinay lang
Joe: wag subo ng subo ng kung anuano
Dani: bastos
Joe: :P

Convo #0054: Backup

2007-07-09T14:51:40Z

Lexa: anyhoo.. kelangan ko kasi yung documents natin nun XD
Dani: i dunno if i still have them
Lexa: kelangan ko pa maghalungkat sa mga backup dicks ko
Dani: BWAHAHAHAAHA
Dani: hahah wow, lexa, how many backup dicks do you have? *LOL!*

...

(via email)
Joe: ganyan pala kayo, may nalalaman pa kayong mga backup dicks. i'm sure, ikaw madami =P
Dani: wala nga eh!!!
Joe: siguraduhin mo lang malaki yung size nung backup di__s mo ;-)
Dani: prospective di__s. BWAHAHAHAHA!
Joe: paano kung may hinahanap ka, tapos yung yung hinahanap mo eh makikita mo in two di__s? ibig sabihin kelangan mo gamitin pareho? >:-)
Dani: hmm... depende kung alin yung mas mapagkakatiwalaan mo dun sa dalawang di__s. hahahaha!
Joe: haha oo nga usually yung mga mas matandang di__s, di na napagkakatiwalaan yun eh =P dun ka sa mga mas bago ;-)
Dani: mas bagong high-performance di__, the better. >:)

Convo #0053: Bold Move

2007-06-17T14:22:47Z

Joe: demmit, if you dont make the bold move, i will
Dani: hahahaha
Dani: teach meeeeeh
Joe: lol
Joe: that didnt sound right
Dani: hahahaha
Dani: you know what i mean... pervert
Joe: pot, meet kettle

Convo #0052: Pink

2007-06-17T14:07:23Z

Dani: blue razrrrrr
Joe: yung kay crushygirl pink
Joe: i'm talking about the fone ha ;)
Joe: hahaha
Dani: *laughter*
Dani: bastos
Joe: pero malay natin pink
Joe: haha

Convo #0051: Aliw, Saksak, Screw!

2007-06-11T14:04:25Z

Joe: kelangan mo nang aliw? gusto mo aliwin kita? gusto mo aliwin ka ni Luke? gusto mo aliwin ka ni... erm... sinupaba...
Dani: pwdeng si Luke na lang? *evil laughter*
Joe: bakit ba, inaliw naman kita nung friday night at saturday ah! hahahahaha. ibang aliw yung kay Luke. that involves pagsscrew at pagsasaksak.
Dani: haha shet ang nasty pakinggan. yung sabado naman may screw at saksak ah! (inside joke)
Joe: ah oo nga. nagsaksak nga pala at nagscrew tayo nung sabado, tapos pawis na pawis tayo pagkatapos. hahahaha!
Dani: tae ampanget pakinggan! kay Luke "screw" at "saksak" *more evil laughter*

Convo #0050: Threesome

2007-05-25T16:25:08Z

Note from the High Priestess: Woo! Our 50th convo! *confetti!* This is for you, High Priest! :D

Bert: hahahahahaha...
Joe: hahaha
Dani: i'm so glad napaligaya ko kayo tonight
Bert: onga, salamat ha. hahahahahahaa!
Joe: :|
Joe: ampangit pakinggan
Joe: haha
Dani: hahaha bastos
Dani: uyyy threesome
Bert: teka, onga noh. dat didnt sound ryt pala. hahahaahha
Dani: haha jologs. threesome sa chat
Bert: ayokong ka-threesome si joe...
Bert: he'll take all the space...
Bert: hahahahahaha!
Joe: oo, ganon kalaki yung akin eh B-)

Convo #0049: Length Range: Are You In?

2007-05-08T15:52:41Z

Joe: ano length range mo?
Dani: hmmmm
Dani: tolerance range to right?
Dani: at anong state na siya?
Joe: syempre yung "doable" state na. hehe.
Dani: oooh so ready to fight na
Joe: haha yeah, you could put it that way.
Dani: hmmm i dunno
Dani: at the VERY least, 5
Joe: grabe ka naman. seryoso, at the very least na yung 5?
Joe: eh average lang daw yan for asians ah
Dani: akala ko ba ready to fight?
Dani: 5 at the very least
Dani: grabe bitin naman yung 4
Joe: whokey. sige. high maintenance ka pala. hehe.
Joe: di mo lalagyan ng max?
Dani: anyway, max siguro is...
Joe: 12?
Dani: eww
Dani: 7 or 8. MAX. kadiri na yung beyond that
Joe: hahaha
Joe: sige 5 to 8 then
Joe: ayos ah. nasa upper end ako ng length range mo
Joe: :)) JOKE
Joe: wait... so if jokes are half-meant, does that make me a 4?
Dani: YOU said that
Dani: lol
Joe: anukaba, naisip ko lang yun no. you gotta give me more credit than being a fucking four
Dani: a whole lot better than a non-fucking four!
Joe: four pa din yun. oalts pa din either way. kakantahan ka ng "Are You In?" ng partner mo
Dani: hahahaha

Convo #0048: May Ipapakita Ako Sa'yo

2007-04-22T15:22:02Z

Joe: may papakita nga pala ako sa yong malaki tapos may puting lumalabas...
Jen: BALIW...!!!
Joe: bakit naman ganyan ang reaction mo?
Jen: mali ba reaction ko?
Joe: ewan. pero bakit nga ganun? hehe.
Jen: advance ang isip ko..??? laht ng possibilities, naisip ko.
Joe: pero di nga punta ako dyan may papakita nga ako sa yong malaki na may puting lumalabas...
Jen: ayaw.. hehe =) ano ba yan? cge..
Joe: kaso check ko muna kung meron pa nung puti kasi kung ubos na yung puti, liliit na siya...
Jen: hmp!
Joe: bakit? gusto mo ba makita na malaki o maliit?
Jen: pareho..
Joe: wala na, maliit na siya, ubos na yung puti... lumabas na lahat. kanina andaming puti tsaka matigas tsaka malaki eh...
Jen: ano ba yan?!?!
Joe: hehe. pimpol.

Convo #0047: It's the (nasty) Thought that Counts!

2007-04-09T16:28:00Z

Joe: may bday token ba ang church of the nasty sa mga members niya?
Dani: bday token?
Joe: sige, bday gift
Dani: haha wala pang budget :) non-profit org tayo e. labo.
Joe: haha oalts walang gift. greeting nalang, it's the nasty thought that counts. hahaha.
Dani: hahahaha. true!

so, in line with that:

Happy Birthday, High Priestess of the Nasty!

- The High Priest

Convo #0046: Bad Rep

2007-04-08T01:55:52Z

Dani: uy Jerry Maguire on HBO
Joe: oh yeah it's on here too
Dani: ahhh back when tom cruise wasn't a crazy bastard
Joe: kaso pinapanood ko na ngayon yung Jerry Maguire and I can't get the thought out of my head that Tom Cruise IS already a crazy bastard
Dani: there's the rub. hahaha!

Convo #0045: Weight-Loss Program

2007-04-07T14:39:04Z

Dani: im losing weight! woooot
Joe: haha. how much?
Dani: bale 116 na ako now
Joe: wow. hehe. galeng! ano ba target mo?
Dani: 110... 109 actually
Joe: o, konti nalang. hehe.
Dani: ye. might take 2 more months. hahaha.
Joe: hindi ka nage-exercise? diet lang?
Dani: yup
Dani: i only eat half of what I think would make me full
Joe: sana may exercise din kahit papano
Joe: kahit sex lang, pwede nang exercise yun!
Dani: hahaha wish ko lang. kokontratahin ko muna si Luke. hahaha! (Luke = the object of Dani's affection)
Joe: hahahaha: "Luke, tulungan mo ako pumayat, sex tayo"

Convo #0044: Beauty and the Beast

2007-04-06T04:44:50Z

Bert: whatthe?!?!?!?!? ==> (image link removed)
Dani: wait, sino yung kumag sa tabi niya? bf niya?!?!
Joe: yeah mukhang BF niya nga!!!!!
Dani: BF NIYA?!?!?!?
Joe: BAKET?!?!?!
Bert: eto ang totoong Beauty and The Beast...
Bert: kelangan nya ata magsalamin...
Dani: she can do better
Joe: look at the bright side... she can't do any worse
Joe: can she do me?
Joe: hahaha
Bert: ako muna!!!!

Convo #0043: Daliri

2007-04-06T04:39:36Z

Bert: bakit maliit? kaag maliit ba maliit ri nang ano?
Joe: chong dami mo typo
Joe: pareho kayo ni dani ngayon malimali mag-type
Joe: tsk tsk
Joe: pagod ang mga daliri
Bert: ng daliri?
Dani: herm pala si bert
Dani: kailangan ng daliri
Joe: pwede naman hindi niya gamitin sa sarili niya yung daliri ah
Dani: ahhh good point joe. ding!

Convo #0042: Size Matters

2007-04-06T04:38:13Z

Bert: whatthe?!?!?!?!?! ==> (image link removed)
Joe: ang liit nang peechur!!
Anne: liit ng pic
Dani: lech maliit nga
Bert: ay puta, anliit nga. teka lang, hehehehehe
Joe: tignan mo eto malaki yung pic (image link removed)
Anne: yikes joe ayan ka na naman, stalker, hehehe
Joe: baket si bert din naman ah. maliit lang yung pic niya, akin malaki. haha.
Dani: it's bad to compare pics!
Dani: paano kung marami kang pics?
Dani: iba iba ang size?
Joe: yikes
Joe: kadiri
Anne: so sino na yung nasa pics?
Dani: oo nga. wala bang mas malaking pic diyan?
Dani: size matters!

Convo #0041: That's it?

2007-04-01T04:41:49Z

(After reading Convo #0040)
Bob: ikli naman..hehehe
Dani: haha nabitin ka ba?
Bob: double meaning b ung question mo?
Dani: think of it as foreplay
Dani: the more it lingers, the better it is in the end

Convo #0040: Suck

2007-04-01T04:33:47Z

Dani: you is teh suck
Joe: i'm not teh suck
Joe: you are teh suck
Joe: i am a suckee